I'm on a train ( my favorite form of transportation) from LA to San Diego from visiting an old friend from home. Catching up on our lives and recanting our youth made me remember all of the beautiful people that have been in my life. All of those moments that shaped who I am. I was so lucky to be apart of a group of people that were like family from middle school-high school. Even amidst youthful insecurities and all of the questions that plague you.....I was so very blessed for the people that were in my life at that time. This weekend I visited one of those people and was reminded of so much. Through those conversations filled with laughter and sarcasm of times gone by I realized how much I wasn't paying attention. Not paying attention to the little details about the people around me during those years. Part of being a teenager I am sure. Now i see how limited my awareness was. Even when you thought you were "aware of eveything"
I can't wait to see how those beautiful peoples lives unfold. In ten, twenty years it will be amazing to see the families, adventures, loves, failures and creation that will happen.
So to all of my dear old friends....thank you for being apart of my life. Thank you for your magic.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
following the brave
I am constantly just amazed by the beauty and pain of life. It is this incredible journey, where we rise to the occasion and then have massive failures. Every single person's life experience is so different, sometimes I think about what it might be like to be in someone else's head, just for a day. To see life in a different perspective, how would that change how I see the world? More and more I am personally seeing that following the path of the unknown, and seeking a deeper purpose in life leads you to meet the most authentic people on this planet. There is common thread that runs through those that are willing to dare venture into this life of unknown. Where your success is not measure by others opinion of you but by the lives you protect. Waking up everyday with the mission of protecting others across the world is a heavy load but a worthy cause. I stumbled across this movie quote the other day....sums up where my life is headed...
‘I wish it need not have happened in my time,’ said Frodo.
‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, ‘and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.’
‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, ‘and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.’
- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Is it fair that I can sit in a coffee shop in absolute safety and solitude, and a girl my age in Central East Africa fears for her life? Or that a woman in Libya is raped by fifteen men and forcibly silenced? Is it fair....NO. I don't understand it, I can't even begin to comprehend it but if I was inactive in bringing change then I think on some level I am just as much to blame. If your not apart of the solution then you are apart of the problem. Ignorance is not an excuse anymore. We are living in intense times and it is our generations responsibility to set the tone of change. If we don't stand up for what is right and true....then who will? I am so embarrassingly guilty of living life in a bubble the last few years. I paid attention to what was happening in the world but did nothing to change any of it. I am paying attention now and have definitely realized that being proactive in change is crucial
Thankful that I am learning to jump first and fear later....because through doing that I believe change can come, and peace will be restored.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Set Fire To The Rain
First off....I am obsessed with Adele's new album '21'....if you haven't heard it....get it now, do it now, like right now. It will change your life (over dramatic but its.....insane)
Since I have been in San Diego words such as 'epic, mind blowing, life changing, etc' are having everyday usage. There isn't a limit to those words in this new part of my life. Two years ago I said everyone needed to have a summer in a place like Bar Harbor, that still rings true, but now more than anything I have to say everyone needs to find this. This being a place where your life has a purpose so far greater than yourself. Where you have no idea what will happen in a few months, but you know that your being gifted with a glimpse of what the purpose of life is. Where you are able to witness the beauty of humanity in all its forms. Where your voice has power and the willingness to go against the tide is celebrated, and not just that but encouraged. It is as if all of those moments that I felt unrest in my soul, a deep yearning to be apart of more, work for something greater than my limited exposure...... are finding a resting place. This is only the beginning but its exhilarating to know that it exists.
Yesterday I went to church for the first time in at least a year. It was a small gathering in a elementary school's auditorium. No fanfare, just simple beautiful people coming together to worship. My heart stirred in a way I haven't felt in a long, long time. Instinctively I tried to avoid it, but finally let it overwhelm me. Deep in my heart I heard ' I am finding you again'...... and whether that was a response to the call in my heart or the Creator making His presence known I don't know.
I do know that in being here I feel royally set up in the most amazing way possible.
Since I have been in San Diego words such as 'epic, mind blowing, life changing, etc' are having everyday usage. There isn't a limit to those words in this new part of my life. Two years ago I said everyone needed to have a summer in a place like Bar Harbor, that still rings true, but now more than anything I have to say everyone needs to find this. This being a place where your life has a purpose so far greater than yourself. Where you have no idea what will happen in a few months, but you know that your being gifted with a glimpse of what the purpose of life is. Where you are able to witness the beauty of humanity in all its forms. Where your voice has power and the willingness to go against the tide is celebrated, and not just that but encouraged. It is as if all of those moments that I felt unrest in my soul, a deep yearning to be apart of more, work for something greater than my limited exposure...... are finding a resting place. This is only the beginning but its exhilarating to know that it exists.
Yesterday I went to church for the first time in at least a year. It was a small gathering in a elementary school's auditorium. No fanfare, just simple beautiful people coming together to worship. My heart stirred in a way I haven't felt in a long, long time. Instinctively I tried to avoid it, but finally let it overwhelm me. Deep in my heart I heard ' I am finding you again'...... and whether that was a response to the call in my heart or the Creator making His presence known I don't know.
I do know that in being here I feel royally set up in the most amazing way possible.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
How do I even begin to describe this past week......
Days filled with calling high schools, churches and colleges across the country booking venues for the screening of 'Tony', reaching out to contacts trying to build the excitement for this epic tour. A tour consisting of 1700 screenings, 17 teams, 50 states and over 500,000 people......pushing forth a movement to end a war.
On an average Wednesday night being given the opportunity to hear from Lt. Colonel Africano Mande of the SPLA and learning of his intense journey of fighting for freedom and a country to call his own. Then directly after being literally....completely....and utterly blown away by Jason Russell ( IC co-founder) with his insane wisdom and honesty. His words moving and freeing, but calling you to strive for a higher depth of authenticity with both yourself and the world. Oh .....and then..... just going to the San Diego airport with the entire IC team to pick up our 19 Ugandan advocates. Standing in the airport surrounded by these stunning people realizing that five years ago sitting in my dorm room watching the 'Rough Cut', in no way could I have imagined the depth I would be involved. I knew then that my heart was forever changed by the story but didn't know how it would alter my life.
I've literally been here one month, but I know that being faced with the issues of this conflict, and the depth of education that I now have, there is no way I can ever turn away. That life will never be the same.....that its getting 'wrecked' in the best way possible.
So that was my week......well just a a small part of it...
to those I haven't had a chance to talk to ...I LOVE YOU!
to those I haven't had a chance to talk to ...I LOVE YOU!
....more to come...... <3>
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Jump First...Fear Later
"Jump First Fear Later" is going to be my new motto for life...completely adopted from the IC values! I spent exactly two months at home visiting friends and family.....there were times that were both wonderful and painful, but all in all it was great to see the people I love. In those two months I spent a lot of time soul searching, doors were closing left and right. I didn't understand what was happening (and I still don't really)....but I felt as if my life was about to change in a huge way. Two weeks ago I received a call from Invisible Children, a non profit organization that I have cared deeply for over the past five years. If you haven't heard of them go to www.invisiblechildren.com and let yourself be blown away by their mission. They called and asked if I would want to come and be a Movement Intern until May and without hesitation I said YES!! Some may think I am out of my bloody mind, volunteering full time until May, working towards ending the war in Uganda and preventing further conflict in DR Congo. But there was not a question in my mind that I had to be apart of their efforts. I have been in San Diego a little over a week, working and living with 63 people and totally out my comfort zone. There are not words to explain how totally...incredibly...awesome these people are. They are all from 19-30's and from all walks of life, but unified in this one passionate goal. IC is launching their twelfth national tour to screen their newest documentary Tony. It is the story of Tony ( who was featured in the first documentary) and follows his life and how he has been affected by the war in Uganda. It also shows the evolution of Invisible Children over the past eight years and the new initiatives that are happening in the DR Congo. This past week I have learned in depth the conflict happening in the DR Congo and how much needs to happen. Being faced with real problems, tangible suffering brings you to reality quickly and haltingly.
I felt as if my life and direction was about to change....now I have no doubt. I can't tell you how yet but its happening. In the past week I have been so humbled by the amount of love, compassion and humanity that flows through the people I am surrounded by. My heart already feels stretched and I can tell that this experience, unlike any before is going to radically alter my path. Feeling overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe it....
I had lunch Friday with some of the IC staff and sitting beside these people who have inspired me for years....and realizing that I am now apart of their work...... was mind blowing. But that revelation made me realize that now is the time to step up, and work harder than I ever have before. It is time to step into my full potential and use the gifts I have been given.
so excited for what is to come!
~Suz~
I felt as if my life and direction was about to change....now I have no doubt. I can't tell you how yet but its happening. In the past week I have been so humbled by the amount of love, compassion and humanity that flows through the people I am surrounded by. My heart already feels stretched and I can tell that this experience, unlike any before is going to radically alter my path. Feeling overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe it....
I had lunch Friday with some of the IC staff and sitting beside these people who have inspired me for years....and realizing that I am now apart of their work...... was mind blowing. But that revelation made me realize that now is the time to step up, and work harder than I ever have before. It is time to step into my full potential and use the gifts I have been given.
so excited for what is to come!
~Suz~
Monday, December 6, 2010
just stop & thnk
Do you sometimes wish you could have just a small glimpse into your future? just a moment....to know if the decisions you are making are leading you down a fulfilled road. The past few weeks that I have had off from everything have been very strange, or should I say strange in having nothing to do? It made me realize that I have never, ever had time quite like this before. Last week I got this awful sense of restlessness, which I expected to come quickly, but when it came.... then came the anxiety of not the "not knowing". Fortunately it passed and I remembered that this is precious time and time not to be wasted. It's profound how such a short time in your old life can quickly remind you why you fled it in the first place. That you leave somewhere, come back a stronger, more peaceful balanced version of yourself and the harsh reality of the present, the faint echo of the past can still your steps. But the call of the future pulls your heart, reminding you that....yes...your still breathing....and yes....your still you.
One could consider time like this a gift from the universe. A time to close unfinished chapters of life, in order to be able to continue on the path you are on that is your very own adventure. To close the book on the things that don't bring light into your world. Being in the middle of your past can show you how far you have come....and the amount of work ahead of you. The work you have to do to ensure that the past doesn't dictate the future. Coming home has also brought back those sweet memories of old friends, and the confusion of growing up. When life was never necessarily simple, but held simpler times. Moments that touched your heart and are forever etched in your "story". People who may not be in your life anymore, but forever remain apart of the essence of who you are.
Recently I have felt this sense of wanting to feel more of life, to really live it. I'm frustrated with our culture and its focus on self. I want MORE.....I want to know what people are feeling, where they want their life to go, what they really care about, what they want from their lives. I don't think people are taking the time to stop and even consider that. I read a poem at the front of a book titled 'The Invitation' by Oriah. It is so strange because its everything that I have been thinking....
so let me share it with you......
"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been open by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you sit with pain mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own.
If you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill to the tips of your fingers and toes, without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul, if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's pretty everyday, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the Fall moon....."YES"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live, or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you can truly like the company you keep in the empty moments"
One could consider time like this a gift from the universe. A time to close unfinished chapters of life, in order to be able to continue on the path you are on that is your very own adventure. To close the book on the things that don't bring light into your world. Being in the middle of your past can show you how far you have come....and the amount of work ahead of you. The work you have to do to ensure that the past doesn't dictate the future. Coming home has also brought back those sweet memories of old friends, and the confusion of growing up. When life was never necessarily simple, but held simpler times. Moments that touched your heart and are forever etched in your "story". People who may not be in your life anymore, but forever remain apart of the essence of who you are.
Recently I have felt this sense of wanting to feel more of life, to really live it. I'm frustrated with our culture and its focus on self. I want MORE.....I want to know what people are feeling, where they want their life to go, what they really care about, what they want from their lives. I don't think people are taking the time to stop and even consider that. I read a poem at the front of a book titled 'The Invitation' by Oriah. It is so strange because its everything that I have been thinking....
so let me share it with you......
"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been open by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you sit with pain mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own.
If you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill to the tips of your fingers and toes, without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul, if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's pretty everyday, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the Fall moon....."YES"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live, or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you can truly like the company you keep in the empty moments"
Oriah
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